Jukebox Hell

Warning: Beware the owner, he is a pool shark.


Tonight was a weird night. I had a ton of fun working, the customers were a blast, and it was an easy night for drinks, mostly just beer. But the entire evening just had an odd feeling to it. Almost festive, like everyone that walked in was celebrating something.

I do wanna talk about something though, the jukebox. Every bar has one, its a keystone of the establishment. I don't think that any bar in the world could make it without some kind of music, and a jukebox definitely serves that purpose. Our jukebox has a mix of all kinds of music, rock, rap, pop, and country. But we have mostly the latter of those, and I am NOT a fan of country. So it just goes to say when we have a crowd like tonight (good crowd, fun group of people) they love to play the jukebox. The problem is that i've heard all the songs on this thing a thousand times. If I have to hear Black Betty one more time, I might kick the glass in on that damned jukebox. I think every bartender feels this way. I dread that jukebox more than anything else in this place.

On a good note though, I got asked to bartend a wedding. Any ideas on how much I should charge for me to do this? It sounds like a great oppritunity, but I don't want to do it for free.















Drink of the Day: Oatmeal Cookie (Tastes just like one)
1/4 oz Cinnamon Schnapps
1/4 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
1/4 oz Bailey's
1/4 oz Jagermeister
Usually a shot, but can be served as a mixed drink, milk can also be added to cut the taste.

Not backside pizza...

Today was a slow day, Mondays usually are.

We did have a good happy hour crowd however, like any other given day of the week. This is the kind of area where we have "regulars," and regulars they are. They are in here from 4-6pm every day. Good guys, and today I swear every single geriatric was in here drinking. Nice guys though.

Today's story is actually about our new cook. Today is his first day, and his last. He was in the kitchen cooking, and had two pizzas in the over. He pulled the first one out, and set it on the prep counter. As he was pulling the second pizza out, he flipped it onto the first, both pizza's ruined. I don't know what was going on, these were his only orders, and it was not that busy in here, but none the less he tried to make a pizza sandwich. Then for the replacement pizzas, he placed all the toppings in the very center, and left the outsides blank.

The bad part is this kid is from Jersey. This is the pizza capital of the country (or NY, who knows). I don't know how they do it in Jersey, but I believe Italy would frown.

So in short, pizza sandwich is no good.

Drink of the day:










Bloody Mary:
1 shot Vodka
Tomato juice
(Options)
Horse Radish
Worcestershire
Salt
Pepper
Tabasco
Shake over ice
Garnish with celery

Town Drunk or Pirate?

Band tonight, they are called Crossroads, and they are really good. There are like 50 people in the band, mostly country/classic rock.

Anyways. I live and work in a small town. This is comparable to Middle America Pleasantville style living. Everyone knows your name, you grew up with all the people you know, and you last name can make or break you from birth.

Except its on the east coast, and I am a "come-here" (term used for people that moved here after the 2nd grade).

And like any tiny town (less the 10,000 people in this one) we have our local characters. One of them is a mentally challanged man who rides a bike around town towing half of his posetions in a cart behind him, but he is a really nice guy.

Then we have the town creeper. This guy is hilarious, unless you are a member of the fairer sex. I can't tell you how many women that work at this place have been chased into a different room when this guy shows up. He is in his 60's, big, with coke bottle glasses, and smells to high heaven. Last week he came in and asked one of our cooks if she had been "a bad little girl" today. Poor girl immediatly remembered something she had in the stove and hopped the next express to "Get me the fuck out of here." He will come in, and get a coke to scope the scene, about three times a day. If there are no girls in the bar, he chugs the coke like he is at a college drinking party and leaves. This would be acceptable if he was a 22 year old frat boy, but he isn't Fun stuff.

But the real reason for this is the town drunk. Now, in bigger areas, its hard to have a town drunk, but every bar has that one guy that hangs out all day, and just gets destroyed. This guy will come in EVERY DAY, and ours does too. He is a nice guy, he can just be a handful. He told our bouncer one night, "go fuck yourself." Was not his finest moment, especially when they threw him out and he begged and pleaded to be allowed back in.

What really makes this guy special (and unintentionally hilarious) is when he drinks, he starts to mumble. He will annoy patrons from time to time, but he is harmelss. The more intoxicated he gets the more he mumbles, and he eventually gets the the point where he squints one eye and starts mumbling "arrr." Voila, instant pirate. Another perk of this individual is when two people are at one end of the bar talking, he will be seven bar stools away, joining in on the conversation. The great thing about this is that he just repeats the last line of said conversation, to himself, and then immediatly falls asleep sitting straight up for about 45-90 seconds. Most of the staff find him highly entertaining unless he is pestering them. Its like having our own parrot, but he pounds beers like a champ, and dose the warble-walk like he invented it.

Drink of the day:








Canteen Martini
1 part Southern Comfort
1 part Bacardi Superior
1 part Amaretto
1 part Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice

Great drink, serve it over ice in a cocktail glass, or as a shooter.

Backside of the Bottle

So, this blog is about being a bartender, and the great things you get to see or hear.

Not really a whole lot to start this out on, but here it goes.

Yesterday it snowed. It shut the whole town I live in down. We got hit by that big winter storm that took Oklahoma out.

But that doesn't keep the drinkers away. We had a number of brave souls risk live and limb to brave the snow drifts on the path to their favorite watering hole and down some liquid courage.

Especially one guy. He has been here for seven and a half hours. He started with a shot of Crown Royal, followed by vodka and Red Bull. Then he started in on the Long Island Ice-teas (which are super fun to make rum, gin tequila, vodka and triple sec in equal portions {very important} and then sour mix and a splash of coke for color). He has had quite a few of these, and at five liquors in each, he is well on his way to becoming the guru of wisdom and love, spoken in a language that only the most trained, and babies, can speak. Slurs.

That's all for now, if anything else pops up, I'll let you know.